These past few years have been quite eye opening. I have realized that you cannot always stick your head in the sand and channel your inner ostrich – you must face the facts.
I have realized that people are in one’s life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and, sometimes, you just need to let them go for YOUR sanity – not theirs.
I have learned that parasites are everywhere and if you give an inch, they will take two miles.
I have learned that people are lacking in common sense and courtesy – neither of which is acceptable, imo.
I have learned that true, close friendships are precious and those are the ones that I wish to cultivate, not ones that are one-sided, opportunistic or just plain disrespectful.
I have also come to the realization that if you need to cut ties with people, whether it is former friends, family or acquaintances, do not feel guilty about it, be cordial and cut that tie.
Finally, I have realized that when you put your dreams and ambitions on hold to further someone’s else’s vision, think twice because often they will get further and, if they don’t do right by you, you will be left with resentment. For example, if someone promises you that they need your help but “will pay you when they make money”, tell them “thank you but no”. If they protest – remind them that they cannot just walk into Macy’s, pick up a pair of stilettos and go to the sales clerk “I promise I’ll pay you when my project takes off – but for now I’m taking these.” It is just not right. Your intellectual property is yours and, for the love of all things holy, guard it with a fierceness of a momma protecting her cub. If you do help, set boundaries, timelines, billing rates and NEVER give access to your contact list. You have cultivated the relationships with everyone on that list and, one wrong move, you could lose more than just a contact – you could lose your reputation.
Finally, be kind but when someone wrongs you – just cut the tie. They don’t need an explanation or a “come to Jesus” meeting. Chances are that if they didn’t respect you enough to value your contribution to their success, they probably wouldn’t listen anyways.
You worry about you – the rest will follow.